his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
