Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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