You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My life is pants optional.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
