fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Couch. On fire.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize