I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
God gave him joint rollers for hands
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
