dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
