Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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