I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
