Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
