shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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