FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize