i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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