just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
