this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
