Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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