forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
