party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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