I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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