By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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