Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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