Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
