Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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