Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
