i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize