yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
