Umm I'm too high to move.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
