I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
