Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
