I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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