When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
