no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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