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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Whats up?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Stay up. I'm coming home in a little

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (949): View more from California

  We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.

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