He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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