onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The cops high fived after they tackled you