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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.

  Fav 7 1931 1150

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.

  Fav 16 4342 1497

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite

  Fav 24 3995 904

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.

  (415): View more from California

  No.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (310): View more from California

  I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.

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• (555): View more from

  I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV

  Fav 1 8 63

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