And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.