I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
