If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he shaved USA in his pubs
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
