We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
