Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
