A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
