a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
