I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
