One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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