I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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