too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
