I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
