Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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