I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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