She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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