don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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