Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
