there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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