put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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