Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
