Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
