you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
