Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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