your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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