he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I queefed so loud it echoed.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Randomize
