he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
