Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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