so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize