xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
