Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
