if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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