a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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