singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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