week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
