mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
