Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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