Small penises have feelings too.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
