U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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